1
00:00:07,888 --> 00:00:10,430
Joey: "MELISSA & JOEY" IS RECORDED
IN FRONT OF A LIVE STUDIO AUDIENCE.

2
00:00:10,431 --> 00:00:12,392
( door opens )

3
00:00:12,393 --> 00:00:14,934
JOE, THE BLOOD AND GUTS
ON THE FRONT PORCH

4
00:00:14,935 --> 00:00:16,226
LOOK DISGUSTING!

5
00:00:16,227 --> 00:00:18,978
GREAT JOB!

6
00:00:18,979 --> 00:00:21,191
THANK YOU, HONEY. AND I'VE ACTUALLY
SAVED MY MOST TRAUMATIZING WORK

7
00:00:21,192 --> 00:00:23,483
FOR RIGHT HERE IN THIS LIVING ROOM,
BECAUSE UNDERNEATH THOSE SHEETS,

8
00:00:23,484 --> 00:00:26,446
I AM BUILDING THE
MOST BLOOD-CURDLING,

9
00:00:26,447 --> 00:00:28,988
TERRIFYING MECHANICAL MONSTER
THIS NEIGHBORHOOD...

10
00:00:28,989 --> 00:00:32,362
NO, ACTUALLY ALL OF NORTHEAST
TOLEDO, HAS EVER SEEN.

11
00:00:32,363 --> 00:00:34,494
MM-HMM. IS THIS ABOUT
THOSE KIDS LAST YEAR

12
00:00:34,495 --> 00:00:36,916
THAT LOOKED AT YOUR
DECORATIONS AND WENT, "YO,

13
00:00:36,917 --> 00:00:38,998
CHECK OUT THE DOUCHE-O-LANTERN"?

14
00:00:38,999 --> 00:00:40,580
I DON'T CARE WHAT THOSE
KIDS THINK, ALL RIGHT?

15
00:00:40,581 --> 00:00:41,871
AND AFTER THEY SEE
WHAT'S UNDER THERE,

16
00:00:41,872 --> 00:00:43,333
THIS YEAR THEY'LL BE
PEEING IN THEIR PANTS.

17
00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:45,044
OH, GOOD, THAT'S JUST WHAT THE
FRONT PORCH IS MISSING...

18
00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,127
THE PUNGENT SCENT OF FEAR PEE.

19
00:00:47,128 --> 00:00:50,760
SO WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO UNVEIL
THIS SUPER-SCARY CREATION OF YOURS?

20
00:00:50,761 --> 00:00:52,262
DON'T... DON'T SAY IT LIKE THAT.

21
00:00:52,263 --> 00:00:54,514
- SAY WHAT LIKE WHAT?
- ( high voice ) "SUPER SCARY."

22
00:00:54,515 --> 00:00:56,556
LIKE, YOU JUST PUT
QUOTES AROUND IT,

23
00:00:56,557 --> 00:00:58,638
LIKE YOU DON'T THINK I CAN
ACTUALLY SCARE PEOPLE.

24
00:00:58,639 --> 00:00:59,939
LOOK, I KNOW YOU
CAN SCARE PEOPLE.

25
00:00:59,940 --> 00:01:02,812
I'VE SEEN YOU TALK TO
SMOKERS IN RESTAURANTS.

26
00:01:02,813 --> 00:01:04,984
SO WHEN DO I GET TO
LOOK UNDER THAT?

27
00:01:04,985 --> 00:01:08,027
ALL RIGHT, OKAY.
STAND OVER HERE.

28
00:01:08,028 --> 00:01:10,860
READY? MEET...

29
00:01:10,861 --> 00:01:13,193
SCARY LARRY. HUH?!

30
00:01:13,194 --> 00:01:14,994
OKAY, HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON.

31
00:01:14,995 --> 00:01:16,826
PREPARE TO BE TERRIFIED.

32
00:01:16,827 --> 00:01:21,161
( deep voice ) I'M GOING TO...

33
00:01:21,162 --> 00:01:22,543
( whirring )

34
00:01:24,465 --> 00:01:26,916
WHAT? YOU'RE GONNA WHAT?

35
00:01:26,917 --> 00:01:31,261
YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT, JOE. THE
SUSPENSE IS TERRIFYING.

36
00:01:31,262 --> 00:01:35,925
"I'M GONNA HACK YOU TO BITS." THE HATCHET'S
SUPPOSED TO GO UP AND THEN SWOOSH DOWN.

37
00:01:35,926 --> 00:01:37,767
BATTERIES MUST BE DEAD.

38
00:01:37,768 --> 00:01:41,271
WELL, MAYBE NEXT TIME YOU
SHOULD GET UNDEAD BATTERIES.

39
00:01:41,272 --> 00:01:44,484
( girl screaming )

40
00:01:44,485 --> 00:01:46,316
LIKE THAT DOORBELL, DON'T YOU?

41
00:01:46,317 --> 00:01:48,859
I LOVE THE DOORBELL!

42
00:01:52,943 --> 00:01:55,325
DR. RADLER.

43
00:01:55,326 --> 00:01:56,946
HELLO, MEL.

44
00:01:56,947 --> 00:02:00,290
UH, JOE, THIS IS DR.
RADLER, MY GYNECOLOGIST,

45
00:02:00,291 --> 00:02:02,121
WHO'S HERE AT OUR HOUSE
FOR SOME REASON.

46
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:04,083
- NICE TO MEET YOU.
- YEAH, SAME HERE.

47
00:02:04,084 --> 00:02:05,875
OH, I'M SORRY. DON'T
MIND THE HATCHET.

48
00:02:05,876 --> 00:02:07,957
I'M ACTUALLY JUST HOLDING
IT FOR A FRIEND.

49
00:02:07,958 --> 00:02:09,549
SO WHY THE HOUSE CALL?

50
00:02:09,550 --> 00:02:10,960
YEAH, IS MEL OKAY?

51
00:02:10,961 --> 00:02:13,052
OH, YES, IT'S NOTHING
TO WORRY ABOUT.

52
00:02:13,053 --> 00:02:15,054
IT'S NOT A PROFESSIONAL CALL,

53
00:02:15,055 --> 00:02:17,427
JUST A LITTLE CATCH-UP
BETWEEN WOMEN.

54
00:02:17,428 --> 00:02:20,970
JUST BECAUSE I'VE SEEN YOUR CERVIX
DOESN'T MEAN WE CAN'T BE FRIENDS.

55
00:02:20,971 --> 00:02:24,564
JUST TO BE CLEAR, I DON'T
NEED TO SEE YOUR CERVIX

56
00:02:24,565 --> 00:02:26,856
IN ORDER TO BE FRIENDS.

57
00:02:26,857 --> 00:02:29,569
I'M GONNA GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE
THIS CONVERSATION GETS WEIRD...

58
00:02:29,570 --> 00:02:30,771
IT'S TOO LATE, THOUGH.

59
00:02:32,483 --> 00:02:33,903
( door opens )

60
00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:35,655
MEL, IT'S TIME YOU KNEW...

61
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,777
I'M NOT A REAL GYNECOLOGIST.

62
00:02:37,778 --> 00:02:39,699
WHAT?! WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT.

63
00:02:39,700 --> 00:02:41,991
SO THAT WASN'T
ACTUALLY AN I.U.D.?

64
00:02:41,992 --> 00:02:44,454
- THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT.
- I BEG TO DIFFER!

65
00:02:44,455 --> 00:02:47,337
I'VE BEEN WATCHING OVER
YOU IN VARIOUS GUISES

66
00:02:47,338 --> 00:02:48,918
EVER SINCE YOU WERE A TEENAGER.

67
00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:51,421
BUT NOW IT'S TIME
YOU KNEW THE TRUTH.

68
00:02:51,422 --> 00:02:56,347
MEL BURKE, YOU ARE A GREAT
AND POWERFUL WITCH.

69
00:02:58,058 --> 00:02:59,930
ME?

70
00:03:02,803 --> 00:03:07,017
♪ I GUESS YOU'RE STUCK WITH ME ♪

71
00:03:10,811 --> 00:03:12,812
I'M A WITCH? LIKE A WITCH WITCH?

72
00:03:12,813 --> 00:03:16,526
LIKE, "CACKLE CACKLE, RIDING ON A
BROOMSTICK, WARTS ON THE NOSE"?

73
00:03:16,527 --> 00:03:20,620
WELL, NOWADAYS, MOST WITCHES HAVE
WART-REDUCTION SURGERY, BUT YES.

74
00:03:20,621 --> 00:03:22,622
YOU ARE A POWERFUL WITCH.

75
00:03:22,623 --> 00:03:26,085
THE ADVENTURES OF YOUR YOUTH ARE
RETOLD TIME AND TIME AGAIN,

76
00:03:26,086 --> 00:03:28,958
MOSTLY ON SATURDAY AFTERNOONS.

77
00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:31,791
OH, I GET IT. THIS IS SOME
KIND OF HALLOWEEN PRANK.

78
00:03:31,792 --> 00:03:33,633
MEL, THIS IS NO PRANK.

79
00:03:33,634 --> 00:03:36,215
AS A TEENAGE GIRL, YOU GREW
UP IN THE WITCH WORLD,

80
00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:37,837
THE OTHER REALM.

81
00:03:37,838 --> 00:03:40,680
YOU GREW UP UNDER MY CARE.
I'M A WITCH TOO.

82
00:03:40,681 --> 00:03:41,891
I'M 300 YEARS OLD.

83
00:03:41,892 --> 00:03:45,685
WELL, YOU LOOK FANTASTIC.

84
00:03:45,686 --> 00:03:47,937
I MOISTURIZE.

85
00:03:47,938 --> 00:03:51,561
BUT LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT
HOW BEAUTIFUL I AM.

86
00:03:51,562 --> 00:03:55,445
YEARS AGO, A DARK FORCE
INFILTRATED OUR WORLD.

87
00:03:55,446 --> 00:03:57,947
FOR YOUR OWN SAFETY, WE
ERASED YOUR MEMORIES

88
00:03:57,948 --> 00:04:00,910
AND PLACED YOU HERE IN
UNASSUMING TOLEDO, OHIO

89
00:04:00,911 --> 00:04:03,032
UNDER THE IDENTITY OF MEL BURKE,

90
00:04:03,033 --> 00:04:05,495
AN AVERAGE MIDWESTERN WOMAN.

91
00:04:05,496 --> 00:04:08,167
AVERAGE? HAVE YOU SEEN ME
RUN DOWNSTAIRS IN HEELS?

92
00:04:08,168 --> 00:04:09,999
I'M AMAZING.

93
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,832
BUT NOW YOU AND YOUR
POWERS ARE NEEDED

94
00:04:12,833 --> 00:04:15,585
FOR EVIL HAS OVERTAKEN
THE OTHER REALM.

95
00:04:15,586 --> 00:04:19,008
THE DARK LORD HAS RISEN
AND CHAOS REIGNS.

96
00:04:19,009 --> 00:04:22,512
DR. RADLER, HONEY,

97
00:04:22,513 --> 00:04:26,185
YOU KNOW, I KNOW SOMETIMES DOCTORS LIKE
TO GET INTO THE FREE PRESCRIPTION SAMPLES

98
00:04:26,186 --> 00:04:28,978
AND GO A LITTLE
CUCKOO CRAZY PANTS.

99
00:04:28,979 --> 00:04:31,441
SO WHAT DO YOU SAY WE CALL 9-1-1

100
00:04:31,442 --> 00:04:33,192
AND CHECK YOU INTO REHAB

101
00:04:33,193 --> 00:04:35,525
OR GET YOU ON A REALITY
SHOW OR SOMETHING?

102
00:04:35,526 --> 00:04:37,857
DOES THIS LOOK CUCKOO
CRAZY PANTS TO YOU?

103
00:04:37,858 --> 00:04:42,492
NO, THIS SPARKLY CELL PHONE MAKES
YOUR WHOLE STORY BELIEVABLE.

104
00:04:42,493 --> 00:04:43,783
WE DON'T HAVE MUCH TIME.

105
00:04:43,784 --> 00:04:45,365
EVERYTHING YOU NEED IS IN HERE.

106
00:04:45,366 --> 00:04:47,867
- IN THIS CELL PHONE?
- IT'S A SPELL PHONE.

107
00:04:47,868 --> 00:04:51,372
USE THIS APP TO OPEN THE
eBOOK OF INCANTATIONS.

108
00:04:53,003 --> 00:04:55,915
READ IT THOROUGHLY, FOR IT
CAN SAVE YOUR VERY LIFE.

109
00:04:55,916 --> 00:04:58,758
MEL? UH...

110
00:04:58,759 --> 00:05:01,971
I'M NOT GONNA ASK HOW ON EARTH YOU KEEP
GOING THROUGH SO MANY "C" BATTERIES.

111
00:05:01,972 --> 00:05:04,764
BUT WHEN YOU USE THE LAST ONE, CAN YOU
PLEASE PUT IT ON THE SHOPPING LIST

112
00:05:04,765 --> 00:05:06,305
SO WE KNOW TO GET MORE?

113
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,888
JOE, I'M KIND OF DEALING WITH A
VERY IMPORTANT HOUSE CALL HERE.

114
00:05:08,889 --> 00:05:11,020
SORRY FOR THE INTERRUPTION, DR.
RAD...

115
00:05:11,021 --> 00:05:12,732
WHERE DID SHE GO?!

116
00:05:12,733 --> 00:05:15,435
- DR. RADLER WAS JUST HERE!
- SHE'S NOT HERE NOW.

117
00:05:15,436 --> 00:05:17,647
( sighs ) SHE JUST TOLD ME
THE MOST BIZARRE THING.

118
00:05:17,648 --> 00:05:20,940
APPARENTLY, I'M A WITCH AND I'M
NEEDED TO SAVE THE OTHER REALM.

119
00:05:20,941 --> 00:05:22,782
A WITCH, HUH? MMM!

120
00:05:22,783 --> 00:05:24,654
ARE YOU GOOD WITCH
OR A BAD WITCH?

121
00:05:24,655 --> 00:05:26,325
YOU KNOW, SHE DIDN'T SAY.

122
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:30,159
YEAH? WELL, I HOPE
YOU'RE A BAD BAD WITCH.

123
00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:32,001
WHERE'D YOU GET THE
NEW CELL PHONE?

124
00:05:32,002 --> 00:05:34,954
DR. RADLER GAVE IT TO ME. IT'S
A BOOK OF SPELLS, APPARENTLY.

125
00:05:34,955 --> 00:05:39,008
YOU KNOW, YOU MIGHT WANT TO LOOK
AROUND FOR A NEW GYNECOLOGIST.

126
00:05:39,009 --> 00:05:40,009
LOOK, HONEY, I GOT
TO GO TO THE STORE,

127
00:05:40,010 --> 00:05:41,671
GOTTA PICK UP SOME
MORE BATTERIES,

128
00:05:41,672 --> 00:05:43,963
GET SCARY LARRY WORKING HERE BEFORE
THE KIDS START TO TRICK-OR-TREAT.

129
00:05:43,964 --> 00:05:46,466
- YOU NEED ANYTHING?
- BETTER CANDY THAN YOU USUALLY GET?

130
00:05:46,467 --> 00:05:48,888
RAISINS ARE NATURE'S CANDY!

131
00:05:48,889 --> 00:05:51,852
AND THAT'S WHY PEOPLE THROW
NATURE'S EGGS AT OUR DOOR!

132
00:05:54,024 --> 00:05:56,025
( beeping )

133
00:05:56,026 --> 00:05:57,937
Female voice: Hello, Mel.

134
00:05:57,938 --> 00:05:59,739
Are you ready to cast a spell?

135
00:05:59,740 --> 00:06:02,321
WOW, DR. RADLER WENT ALL OUT!

136
00:06:02,322 --> 00:06:05,615
OKAY, I CAN PLAY ALONG
WITH THE DOCTOR'S JOKE.

137
00:06:05,616 --> 00:06:07,787
UM, LEVITATE THE COUCH.

138
00:06:07,788 --> 00:06:09,789
Your spell will
not be successful

139
00:06:09,790 --> 00:06:11,871
without the proper
intention and gesture.

140
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,913
OH JEEZ. OKAY.

141
00:06:13,914 --> 00:06:15,546
LEVITATE, COUCH!

142
00:06:17,087 --> 00:06:18,878
Gesture poor.

143
00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,920
Intention level, weak.

144
00:06:20,921 --> 00:06:23,052
MAYBE I'M GETTING A BAD SIGNAL.

145
00:06:23,053 --> 00:06:25,595
THIS MIGHT BE A LOUSY
WITCH-COVERAGE AREA.

146
00:06:25,596 --> 00:06:27,848
OH, YEAH, I'VE ONLY
GOT TWO BROOMS.

147
00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:32,432
OOOOH!

148
00:06:32,433 --> 00:06:35,354
OH, RYDER, NICE COSTUME.

149
00:06:35,355 --> 00:06:38,277
YOU'RE ROCKIN' HALLOWEEN
OLD-SCHOOL "PEANUTS" STYLE.

150
00:06:38,278 --> 00:06:39,819
WHERE ARE YOU TWO HEADED?

151
00:06:39,820 --> 00:06:42,692
OOOOOH!

152
00:06:42,693 --> 00:06:44,694
RYDER SAID HE'S NOT SPEAKING
UNTIL AFTER HE GETS BACK

153
00:06:44,695 --> 00:06:45,785
FROM THIS PARTY WE'RE GOING TO.

154
00:06:45,786 --> 00:06:47,827
HE'S VERY COMMITTED
TO HIS CHARACTER.

155
00:06:47,828 --> 00:06:49,910
OOOH!

156
00:06:51,872 --> 00:06:53,793
THAT IS SO SWEET...
WAIT A SECOND.

157
00:06:53,794 --> 00:06:56,165
WERE THOSE MY
1,000-THREAD-COUNT SHEETS?

158
00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:58,878
YOU KNOW WHAT? HE IS GOING TO
BE A GHOST WHEN HE GETS HOME.

159
00:06:58,879 --> 00:07:02,001
SO WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF MY COSTUME?

160
00:07:02,002 --> 00:07:03,963
OH, YEAH, IT'S GREAT.

161
00:07:03,964 --> 00:07:06,846
- WHAT ARE YOU?
- YOU CAN'T TELL?

162
00:07:06,847 --> 00:07:08,307
UH, DON'T GIVE ME THE EYEBROW.

163
00:07:08,308 --> 00:07:09,639
OKAY, I'M REALLY TRYING HERE.

164
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:12,602
UM, OH! I GOT IT.
YOU'RE A RAT PRINCESS.

165
00:07:12,603 --> 00:07:16,105
I'M SUPPOSED TO BE A SEXY CAT!

166
00:07:16,106 --> 00:07:19,479
- OH, NOW I SEE IT.
- NO, YOU DON'T.

167
00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,651
UGH! STUPID CHEAP
MAIL-ORDER COSTUME.

168
00:07:21,652 --> 00:07:23,863
IT'S NOT SEXY AND
IT'S BARELY A CAT.

169
00:07:23,864 --> 00:07:25,194
HONEY, YOU LOOK VERY NICE.

170
00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:26,616
I DO NOT!

171
00:07:26,617 --> 00:07:28,988
UH! YOU DON'T REALLY
CARE, DO YOU?

172
00:07:28,989 --> 00:07:30,870
OF COURSE I CARE, SWEETHEART.

173
00:07:30,871 --> 00:07:32,161
I CARE A GREAT DEAL.

174
00:07:32,162 --> 00:07:34,874
I MEAN, I WANT YOU TO BE THE MOST
REALISTIC CAT THERE EVER WAS!

175
00:07:34,875 --> 00:07:37,537
Lennox's voice: OH MY GOD!

176
00:07:37,538 --> 00:07:39,288
WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?

177
00:07:39,289 --> 00:07:41,130
I DON'T KNOW.

178
00:07:41,131 --> 00:07:43,963
- UNDO! UNDO!
- ( phone beeping )

179
00:07:43,964 --> 00:07:45,385
CONTROL Z!

180
00:07:50,390 --> 00:07:51,971
Lennox: HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?

181
00:07:51,972 --> 00:07:53,853
HOW THE HELL DID YOU
TURN ME INTO A CAT?

182
00:07:53,854 --> 00:07:55,014
I DON'T KNOW!

183
00:07:55,015 --> 00:07:57,937
APPARENTLY I HAD THE PROPER
INTENTION AND GESTURE.

184
00:07:57,938 --> 00:07:59,689
WHAT ARE YOU, SOME
KIND OF MAGICIAN?

185
00:07:59,690 --> 00:08:00,810
NO, I'M A...

186
00:08:00,811 --> 00:08:03,152
A WITCH!

187
00:08:03,153 --> 00:08:05,985
THEN DO WHATEVER THAT WAS AGAIN
AND CHANGE ME BACK RIGHT NOW.

188
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,737
I HAVE A PARTY TO GO TO TONIGHT.

189
00:08:07,738 --> 00:08:09,989
ALL RIGHT, DON'T WORRY, OKAY?
I'M GONNA CHANGE YOU BACK.

190
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,490
OH, YOU'RE SO SOFT!

191
00:08:11,491 --> 00:08:14,824
OKAY, I JUST HAVE TO FIND THE
RIGHT SPELL TO TRANSFORM YOU.

192
00:08:14,825 --> 00:08:16,826
OH, NO, I HAVE TO
GO TO THE BATHROOM.

193
00:08:16,827 --> 00:08:18,878
WHAT? NO NO NO! WE DON'T
HAVE A LITTER BOX.

194
00:08:18,879 --> 00:08:20,329
THEN LET ME OUTSIDE.

195
00:08:20,330 --> 00:08:22,461
WELL, OKAY FINE,
BUT DON'T RUN OFF.

196
00:08:22,462 --> 00:08:24,423
WE DON'T KNOW IF YOU'RE FIXED,
AND I DON'T WANT TO FIND OUT

197
00:08:24,424 --> 00:08:26,255
WHEN YOU'RE POPPING OUT
KITTENS IN MY CLOSET.

198
00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:27,837
OH, THIS IS HUMILIATING.

199
00:08:27,838 --> 00:08:29,680
OKAY.

200
00:08:30,841 --> 00:08:33,432
I PROMISE NO MATTER
WHAT YOU FALL OFF OF

201
00:08:33,433 --> 00:08:37,017
OR HOW WELL YOU PLAY PIANO, I
WILL NOT POST IT ON YOUTUBE.

202
00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:41,480
OH!

203
00:08:41,481 --> 00:08:42,902
NOW DO YOU BELIEVE ME?

204
00:08:42,903 --> 00:08:45,775
YES, I BELIEVE YOU. I'M A
WITCH FROM THE FAR SIDE.

205
00:08:45,776 --> 00:08:47,567
- THE OTHER REALM.
- WHATEVER.

206
00:08:47,568 --> 00:08:50,700
LOOK, NOW I JUST NEED TO KNOW HOW
TO TURN LENNOX BACK INTO A PERSON.

207
00:08:50,701 --> 00:08:54,113
YOU CAN'T. YOU WON'T HAVE YOUR FULL
POWERS UNTIL YOU DEFEAT THE DARK LORD.

208
00:08:54,114 --> 00:08:55,955
- WELL, HOW DO I DO THAT?
- I DON'T KNOW.

209
00:08:55,956 --> 00:08:58,457
- WELL, WHERE IS HE?
- I DON'T KNOW.

210
00:08:58,458 --> 00:09:00,750
YOU'RE REALLY NOT BRINGING A WHOLE
LOT TO THE PARTY HERE, LADY.

211
00:09:00,751 --> 00:09:03,122
THE DARK LORD HAS
OVERTAKEN THE WITCH REALM

212
00:09:03,123 --> 00:09:05,625
AND IS NOW POISED TO CONQUER
THE MORTAL WORLD AS WELL.

213
00:09:05,626 --> 00:09:07,717
HE WISHES TO DESTROY YOU

214
00:09:07,718 --> 00:09:10,970
BECAUSE YOU ARE THE ONLY
OBSTACLE TO HIS SUPREMACY.

215
00:09:10,971 --> 00:09:13,382
I FEEL HIS PRESENCE IS NEAR.

216
00:09:13,383 --> 00:09:15,134
WAIT, WHAT? THE DARK
LORD IS COMING HERE?

217
00:09:15,135 --> 00:09:16,345
WHAT DOES HE LOOK LIKE?

218
00:09:16,346 --> 00:09:18,808
HE TAKES MANY FORMS AND GUISES.

219
00:09:18,809 --> 00:09:21,180
SO HE'S LIKE THE MERYL
STREEP OF EVIL?

220
00:09:21,181 --> 00:09:23,142
HE ONCE WAS MERYL STREEP.

221
00:09:23,143 --> 00:09:25,945
YOU KNOW, I BET IT
WAS IN "MAMMA MIA."

222
00:09:25,946 --> 00:09:28,948
Joey: HELLO! I'M BACK!

223
00:09:28,949 --> 00:09:32,531
IN A MINUTE! LOOK, DR. RADLER...

224
00:09:32,532 --> 00:09:35,075
I WISH SHE'D STOP DOING THAT.

225
00:09:36,576 --> 00:09:37,907
OH, JOE, I'M SO
GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

226
00:09:37,908 --> 00:09:39,458
HEY, YOU WANT TO HEAR
SOMETHING WEIRD?

227
00:09:39,459 --> 00:09:41,460
DO YOU KNOW WHEN I GOT HOME,
THERE WAS SOME STRAY BLACK CAT

228
00:09:41,461 --> 00:09:43,002
TAKING A PEE ON THE FRONT LAWN?

229
00:09:43,003 --> 00:09:45,875
I CHASED IT OFF, BUT IT WAS REALLY WEIRD...
BEFORE IT LEFT,

230
00:09:45,876 --> 00:09:48,417
IT LOOKED AT ME JUST LIKE THIS.

231
00:09:48,418 --> 00:09:50,509
I SWEAR I'VE SEEN THAT
LOOK SOMEWHERE BEFORE,

232
00:09:50,510 --> 00:09:52,591
- I JUST CAN'T PLACE IT.
- THAT WAS LENNOX.

233
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:56,345
I'M A WITCH AND I TURNED
LENNOX INTO A CAT BY ACCIDENT.

234
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,888
OOOH! SPOOKY.

235
00:09:58,889 --> 00:10:01,020
SOMEONE'S IN THE HALLOWEEN SPIRIT.
I LIKE THAT.

236
00:10:01,021 --> 00:10:03,893
I DON'T BLAME YOU FOR NOT BELIEVING ME.
I BARELY BELIEVE IT MYSELF.

237
00:10:03,894 --> 00:10:06,525
LISTEN, HONEY, I'D LOVE TO CHAT WITH YOU,
BUT I GOT TO GET SCARY LARRY UP AND WORKING

238
00:10:06,526 --> 00:10:08,357
BECAUSE THE KIDS ARE ALREADY
OUTSIDE TRICK-OR-TREATING, OKAY?

239
00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:11,901
- Lennox: AUNT MEL, LET ME IN!
- KEEP YOUR FUR ON, LENNOX!

240
00:10:11,902 --> 00:10:14,074
( girl screaming )

241
00:10:18,498 --> 00:10:20,660
RUN, KIDS! SAVE YOURSELF!

242
00:10:20,661 --> 00:10:22,202
THERE'S A CRAZED
KILLER ON THE LOOSE!

243
00:10:23,543 --> 00:10:26,005
( low voice ) I'M GOING
TO HACK YOU TO BITS!

244
00:10:26,006 --> 00:10:29,338
MWAH HA HA HA HA HA!

245
00:10:29,339 --> 00:10:31,210
THAT'S LAME.

246
00:10:31,211 --> 00:10:34,303
THAT'S NOT LAME. YOU WERE
SCARED, YOU KNOW IT.

247
00:10:34,304 --> 00:10:35,885
NAH.

248
00:10:35,886 --> 00:10:39,759
FINE, WHATEVER. HERE, TAKE
YOUR HALLOWEEN CANDY AND GO.

249
00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:43,102
BLACK LICORICE? GROSS!

250
00:10:43,103 --> 00:10:46,766
WE WALKED UP, LIKE,
SEVEN STEPS FOR THIS?

251
00:10:46,767 --> 00:10:49,318
HEY, IT'S CLASSIC
HALLOWEEN CANDY!

252
00:10:49,319 --> 00:10:53,032
- ( Theremin playing )
- ( low voice ) YEAH.

253
00:10:53,033 --> 00:10:56,235
- ( groaning )
- COOL.

254
00:10:56,236 --> 00:10:58,988
- WOW.
- ( grunts )

255
00:10:58,989 --> 00:11:00,830
HEY, WAIT A MINUTE. I'M
NOT EVEN DOING THAT.

256
00:11:00,831 --> 00:11:03,913
THAT'S WEIRD. HOW IS HE...
HOW IS HE DOING THAT?

257
00:11:03,914 --> 00:11:06,956
RUN, KIDS! SAVE YOURSELVES!

258
00:11:06,957 --> 00:11:08,838
AND MISS THIS? NO WAY!

259
00:11:08,839 --> 00:11:10,669
( grunts )

260
00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:12,792
- WHAT'S GOING ON?
- I DON'T... I DON'T KNOW!

261
00:11:12,793 --> 00:11:14,673
IT'S SCARY LARRY. IT'S LIKE
HE'S POSSESSED OR SOMETHING.

262
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,796
- ( grunts )
- IT'S THE DARK LORD!

263
00:11:16,797 --> 00:11:19,428
HE'S COME OVER TO
THIS WORLD TO GET ME!

264
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:21,640
IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU, MEL.

265
00:11:21,641 --> 00:11:24,263
HEY, YOU'RE A WITCH, RIGHT?
WHY DON'T YOU DO SOMETHING?

266
00:11:24,264 --> 00:11:27,016
- CAST A LITTLE SPELL.
- ALL RIGHT, DON'T FREAK OUT. DON'T FREAK OUT.

267
00:11:27,017 --> 00:11:29,769
UH, ZITHER,
ZORASTRIANS, ZOMBIES.

268
00:11:29,770 --> 00:11:32,571
OH, HERE'S SOMETHING...
"MAKA-LAKA-HI, LAKA HINEY HO!"

269
00:11:32,572 --> 00:11:34,864
- ( whirring )
- FAIL.

270
00:11:34,865 --> 00:11:37,947
YOU KNOW, TELL ALL YOUR FRIENDS
WE HAVE BLACK LICORICE.

271
00:11:37,948 --> 00:11:39,949
( grunting )

272
00:11:39,950 --> 00:11:42,411
HA! COME HERE, COME HERE.

273
00:11:42,412 --> 00:11:45,324
( grunting )

274
00:11:45,325 --> 00:11:47,417
HERE, JOE!

275
00:11:49,669 --> 00:11:52,792
- ( groaning )
- JOKE'S ON YOU, MONKEY FIGHTER.

276
00:11:52,793 --> 00:11:55,635
( groaning )

277
00:11:57,637 --> 00:12:00,179
THAT WAS AMAZING.

278
00:12:00,180 --> 00:12:02,893
( sighs ) I DEFEATED
THE DARK LORD.

279
00:12:05,015 --> 00:12:06,105
YOU?

280
00:12:06,106 --> 00:12:08,347
I WAS THE ONE WITH
THE LETHAL LICORICE.

281
00:12:08,348 --> 00:12:10,309
YEAH. YOU, ME...
SAME DIFFERENCE.

282
00:12:10,310 --> 00:12:12,651
THE IMPORTANT THING
IS HE'S GONE.

283
00:12:12,652 --> 00:12:15,945
YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. AND NOW

284
00:12:15,946 --> 00:12:18,237
IT'S TIME TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH.

285
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:20,529
NO, WAIT A MINUTE. I CAN DO
BETTER THAN THAT. HOLD ON.

286
00:12:20,530 --> 00:12:23,282
OKAY, YOU READY? HERE IT IS.

287
00:12:23,283 --> 00:12:25,916
IT'S TRASH NIGHT

288
00:12:27,127 --> 00:12:28,828
AND I'M TAKING IT OUT.

289
00:12:28,829 --> 00:12:29,999
WAIT A MINUTE. I CAN DO BETTER.

290
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,831
- I CAN DO BETTER...
- JUST GET RID OF IT.

291
00:12:31,832 --> 00:12:33,172
I HAVE TO GO FIND LENNOX.

292
00:12:33,173 --> 00:12:36,836
LENNOX? HERE, NIECY,
NIECY, NIECY, NIECY!

293
00:12:36,837 --> 00:12:38,929
( sighs )

294
00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:44,053
( wind blowing )

295
00:12:44,054 --> 00:12:45,846
( static )

296
00:12:47,848 --> 00:12:50,149
( low voice ) MUST KILL.

297
00:12:50,150 --> 00:12:53,772
MUST DESTROY WITCH.

298
00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:56,857
MUST AVOID PERSONAL PRONOUNS.

299
00:12:57,948 --> 00:13:00,901
( evil laughter )

300
00:13:03,824 --> 00:13:04,904
LENNOX?

301
00:13:04,905 --> 00:13:06,745
THIS IS YOU, RIGHT?

302
00:13:06,746 --> 00:13:08,577
YES, AND PUT ME DOWN.

303
00:13:08,578 --> 00:13:10,409
YOU'RE SQUISHING, LIKE,
FIVE OF MY BOOBS.

304
00:13:10,410 --> 00:13:13,913
THANK GOODNESS. OKAY, LET'S
TRY TO CHANGE YOU BACK.

305
00:13:13,914 --> 00:13:16,585
YUCK! YOU'RE PUTTING ME ON THE
COUNTER WHERE WE PUT FOOD?

306
00:13:16,586 --> 00:13:17,967
DO YOU KNOW WHERE I'VE BEEN?

307
00:13:17,968 --> 00:13:19,879
OH, STOP COMPLAINING. I'M
TRYING TO FIGURE OUT

308
00:13:19,880 --> 00:13:21,590
HOW TO TURN YOU BACK
TO YOUR REGULAR SELF.

309
00:13:21,591 --> 00:13:23,012
( phone beeping )

310
00:13:23,013 --> 00:13:25,184
OKAY, RESTORE LENNOX
TO HER HUMAN FORM.

311
00:13:25,185 --> 00:13:27,096
Female voice: Sorry, you
have Spellbook Lite.

312
00:13:27,097 --> 00:13:29,268
You need to upgrade
to the full version

313
00:13:29,269 --> 00:13:31,190
to use that spell.

314
00:13:31,191 --> 00:13:34,353
HURRY UP, AUNT MEL. THE PARTY ALREADY
STARTED AND I'VE GOT TO DO MY HAIR.

315
00:13:34,354 --> 00:13:35,985
EXCUSE ME! I'VE JUST
BEEN BUSY, YOU KNOW,

316
00:13:35,986 --> 00:13:38,777
TRYING TO PROTECT ALL OF
HUMANITY FROM THE DARK LORD.

317
00:13:38,778 --> 00:13:40,199
WHO'S THE DARK LORD?

318
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:43,032
EVIL PERSONIFIED, THE DEVIL
INCARNATE, BLAH BLAH.

319
00:13:43,033 --> 00:13:45,154
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M JUST GOING TO
DO THIS THE OLD-FASHIONED WAY

320
00:13:45,155 --> 00:13:46,825
AND HOPE I'M NOT VIOLATING
ANY COPYRIGHT LAWS...

321
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:48,827
BIBBITY-BOBBITY-BOO!

322
00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:51,830
YAY! I'M BACK!

323
00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,913
YES, YOU ARE.

324
00:13:53,914 --> 00:13:56,916
UH, BUT YOU MIGHT WANT
TO DO A LITTLE WAXING

325
00:13:56,917 --> 00:13:58,918
BEFORE YOU GO OUT.

326
00:13:58,919 --> 00:14:01,010
( gasps )

327
00:14:01,011 --> 00:14:03,592
OH NO! WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?

328
00:14:03,593 --> 00:14:05,384
AHH!

329
00:14:05,385 --> 00:14:08,928
THIS DOESN'T COME OFF. I'M LIKE
HALF-CAT, HALF-HUMAN MUTANT.

330
00:14:08,929 --> 00:14:11,020
THANKS A LOT, AUNT MEL.

331
00:14:11,021 --> 00:14:12,932
HEY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

332
00:14:12,933 --> 00:14:14,773
I'M GOING TO DO
SOME STRESS EATING.

333
00:14:14,774 --> 00:14:17,777
OOH, BUTTER!

334
00:14:19,940 --> 00:14:21,780
- ( growling )
- WHAT ARE YOU UPSET ABOUT?

335
00:14:21,781 --> 00:14:23,983
I'M THE ONE WHO CAN'T TURN MY NIECE BACK.
LOOK AT HER.

336
00:14:23,984 --> 00:14:25,985
( growling )

337
00:14:25,986 --> 00:14:27,987
I KNOW, RIGHT?

338
00:14:27,988 --> 00:14:30,079
( girl screaming )

339
00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:31,700
OH, MORE TRICK-OR-TREATERS.

340
00:14:31,701 --> 00:14:33,542
- LENNOX, WILL YOU GET THE DOOR?
- HOW?

341
00:14:33,543 --> 00:14:35,164
I DON'T HAVE OPPOSABLE THUMBS.

342
00:14:35,165 --> 00:14:37,667
YOU'RE A TALKING CAT.
FIGURE IT OUT.

343
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,211
( low voice ) MUST HAVE VICTORY.

344
00:14:42,212 --> 00:14:44,133
( sighs ) TELL ME ABOUT IT.

345
00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:47,306
WANT A GLASS OF WINE? I THINK WE DESERVE
IT AFTER KILLING THAT DARK LORD.

346
00:14:47,307 --> 00:14:50,770
DARK LORD STANDS BEFORE YOU.

347
00:14:52,432 --> 00:14:54,473
AH! YOU'RE THE DARK LORD!

348
00:14:54,474 --> 00:14:57,776
BEEN SEARCHING FOR TEENAGE
WITCH SEASON AFTER SEASON.

349
00:14:57,777 --> 00:15:00,019
MUST DESTROY.

350
00:15:00,020 --> 00:15:02,821
AHA!

351
00:15:02,822 --> 00:15:04,984
DARK LORD IS NOT A VAMPIRE.

352
00:15:04,985 --> 00:15:07,156
OH, DAMN!

353
00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:09,869
UH, HERE! GARLIC!

354
00:15:11,581 --> 00:15:13,203
THAT'S FOR VAMPIRES TOO.

355
00:15:14,294 --> 00:15:15,794
THOSE ARE SCALLIONS ANYWAY.

356
00:15:15,795 --> 00:15:19,089
REALLY? ARE YOU SURE?

357
00:15:20,630 --> 00:15:22,881
( gasps ) MY MAPLE CABINETS.

358
00:15:22,882 --> 00:15:25,884
THOSE ARE CUSTOM!
THAT'S IT, BITCH.

359
00:15:25,885 --> 00:15:27,386
GET OUT OF MY MAN!

360
00:15:27,387 --> 00:15:31,050
WE'RE GETTING A LOT OF COMPLAINTS
ABOUT THE BLACK LICORICE.

361
00:15:31,051 --> 00:15:33,602
- MUST DESTROY WITCH.
- LENNOX, IT'S THE DARK LORD.

362
00:15:33,603 --> 00:15:35,554
- ( growls )
- WHERE?

363
00:15:35,555 --> 00:15:37,356
- INSIDE JOE!
- OH NO!

364
00:15:37,357 --> 00:15:39,438
WELL, CAN'T YOU JUST, LIKE,
USE A SPELL OR SOMETHING?

365
00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:41,110
NO, MY POWERS DON'T WORK ON HIM.

366
00:15:41,111 --> 00:15:42,982
UM, OH! BUT THERE'S
A MAGIC YOU'VE HAD

367
00:15:42,983 --> 00:15:44,483
THAT'S ALWAYS BEEN
MORE POWERFUL.

368
00:15:44,484 --> 00:15:46,325
THE MAGIC OF LOVE.

369
00:15:46,326 --> 00:15:47,826
YOU'RE KIDDING ME, RIGHT?

370
00:15:47,827 --> 00:15:49,778
NO, LOVE IS THE STRONGEST
POWER ON EARTH.

371
00:15:49,779 --> 00:15:51,991
JUST... JUST REACH OUT TO HIM.
THE MAN YOU LOVE

372
00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:53,702
IS STILL INSIDE OF
THERE SOMEWHERE.

373
00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:55,494
JUST COME ON! YOU'VE
GOT TO TRY IT.

374
00:15:55,495 --> 00:15:57,536
OKAY, IT'S WORTH A SHOT. JOE?

375
00:15:57,537 --> 00:15:59,748
- ( growling )
- SWEETIE?

376
00:15:59,749 --> 00:16:01,340
PUDDING PIE?

377
00:16:01,341 --> 00:16:03,172
( growling )

378
00:16:03,173 --> 00:16:05,294
AH!

379
00:16:05,295 --> 00:16:06,795
JOE?

380
00:16:06,796 --> 00:16:09,178
- ( hisses )
- I KNOW YOU'RE IN THERE.

381
00:16:09,179 --> 00:16:11,140
FIND YOUR WAY OUT, SWEETHEART.

382
00:16:11,141 --> 00:16:12,851
( growling )

383
00:16:12,852 --> 00:16:14,434
I LOVE YOU.

384
00:16:16,556 --> 00:16:18,727
YOU'RE DOING IT. COME ON,
YOU CAN BEAT HIM, JOE.

385
00:16:18,728 --> 00:16:20,690
( growls )

386
00:16:21,901 --> 00:16:24,604
I LOVE YOU.

387
00:16:26,316 --> 00:16:27,866
( gasps )

388
00:16:27,867 --> 00:16:29,948
( grunting )

389
00:16:29,949 --> 00:16:31,820
OH, HERE, LET ME HELP YOU.

390
00:16:31,821 --> 00:16:33,283
GET OUT OF HIM, YOU BEAST!

391
00:16:35,035 --> 00:16:37,166
ACTUALLY, THAT WAS ALL ME.

392
00:16:37,167 --> 00:16:38,827
OH, SORRY.

393
00:16:38,828 --> 00:16:40,879
MAN, THIS GUY IS STRONG.

394
00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:42,831
I'M TELLING YOU, THIS GUY
WORKS OUT AS MUCH AS I DO.

395
00:16:42,832 --> 00:16:44,923
- ( beast growling )
- THE ONLY WAY FOR ME TO DESTROY HIM

396
00:16:44,924 --> 00:16:46,585
IS TO DESTROY MYSELF, MEL.

397
00:16:46,586 --> 00:16:48,127
NO! JOE, DON'T DO IT.

398
00:16:48,128 --> 00:16:49,338
I HAVE TO!

399
00:16:49,339 --> 00:16:50,969
IT'S THE ONLY WAY
THAT I CAN SAVE YOU.

400
00:16:50,970 --> 00:16:52,971
- ( beast growling )
- AH!

401
00:16:52,972 --> 00:16:54,683
IT'S THE ONLY WAY!

402
00:16:54,684 --> 00:16:57,226
I LOVE YOU, MEL.

403
00:16:57,227 --> 00:16:58,977
( beast growling )

404
00:16:58,978 --> 00:17:01,190
- GOODBYE.
- ( beast growling )

405
00:17:01,191 --> 00:17:04,313
( static )

406
00:17:04,314 --> 00:17:05,944
JOE!

407
00:17:05,945 --> 00:17:07,906
NO, THIS CAN'T BE!

408
00:17:07,907 --> 00:17:09,698
THAT WAS AMAZING.

409
00:17:09,699 --> 00:17:12,491
HE SACRIFICED HIMSELF TO SAVE
US ALL FROM THE DARK LORD.

410
00:17:12,492 --> 00:17:15,824
OH, MY SWEET, NOBLE JOE!

411
00:17:15,825 --> 00:17:19,869
I CAN'T BELIEVE
YOU'RE GONE FOREVER.

412
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,963
BACK FROM DEAD!

413
00:17:24,964 --> 00:17:25,795
OH!

414
00:17:25,796 --> 00:17:27,466
I'M KIDDING. THAT'S JUST ME.

415
00:17:27,467 --> 00:17:29,878
OH! JOE.

416
00:17:29,879 --> 00:17:31,430
THAT WAS AMAZING.

417
00:17:31,431 --> 00:17:34,012
WOW, YOU'RE THE ONE WITH
THE SPECIAL POWERS.

418
00:17:34,013 --> 00:17:36,175
YEAH, I TELL YOU, IT'S A
GOOD THING I WAS HERE.

419
00:17:36,176 --> 00:17:38,887
OTHERWISE I NEVER WOULD HAVE
BEEN ABLE TO DEFEAT MYSELF.

420
00:17:38,888 --> 00:17:40,939
I COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT
WITHOUT YOU, THOUGH, BABY.

421
00:17:40,940 --> 00:17:43,852
OH, WELL, NOW THAT WE... JOE...

422
00:17:43,853 --> 00:17:46,685
DEFEATED THE DARK LORD, I
CAN FOCUS ALL MY ATTENTION

423
00:17:46,686 --> 00:17:48,687
ON RESTORING YOU TO
YOUR HUMAN FORM.

424
00:17:48,688 --> 00:17:51,450
UM, ACTUALLY, CAN I
KEEP THIS LOOK FOR NOW?

425
00:17:51,451 --> 00:17:53,902
I'LL HAVE A GREAT SHOT AT WINNING
THE COSTUME CONTEST AT THE PARTY.

426
00:17:53,903 --> 00:17:57,196
YOU CAN JUST CHANGE ME BACK
WHEN I GET HOME, OKAY? BYE.

427
00:17:57,197 --> 00:17:59,328
HEY, BE SAFE! HAVE FUN.

428
00:17:59,329 --> 00:18:01,580
YEAH, AND DON'T GO
CROSSING ANYONE'S PATH.

429
00:18:01,581 --> 00:18:03,662
- WELL DONE.
- ( both gasp )

430
00:18:03,663 --> 00:18:06,465
LOOK, SOMEDAY YOU'RE GOING TO DO THAT
TO SOMEONE IN A CONCEALED-CARRY STATE,

431
00:18:06,466 --> 00:18:08,257
AND YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET IT.

432
00:18:08,258 --> 00:18:11,340
CONGRATULATIONS, MEL. YOU
DEFEATED THE DARK LORD

433
00:18:11,341 --> 00:18:13,802
AND SAVED THE OTHER REALM
AS WELL AS THIS ONE.

434
00:18:13,803 --> 00:18:15,804
YOUR POWERS ARE NOW
FULLY RESTORED.

435
00:18:15,805 --> 00:18:18,016
YOU ARE ONCE AGAIN THE
GREAT WITCH THAT YOU WERE.

436
00:18:18,017 --> 00:18:19,718
- REALLY?
- TRY IT.

437
00:18:19,719 --> 00:18:21,770
( wheezing sound )

438
00:18:21,771 --> 00:18:23,562
THAT MOVE IS TAKEN.

439
00:18:23,563 --> 00:18:27,896
OH, OKAY. UH, TURN JOE INTO
THE MOST DESIRABLE MAN ALIVE.

440
00:18:27,897 --> 00:18:29,107
( tinkling )

441
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,150
OH, THAT'S ODD. IT DIDN'T WORK.

442
00:18:31,151 --> 00:18:33,942
YES, IT DID. HE'S ALREADY THE
MOST DESIRABLE MAN I KNOW,

443
00:18:33,943 --> 00:18:36,285
BUT NOW WITH RAVIOLI.

444
00:18:36,286 --> 00:18:37,907
YEAH.

445
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,911
AND TAKE A PEEK IN THERE.

446
00:18:42,912 --> 00:18:46,295
OH, NO MAGIC IS NEEDED FOR THAT AREA...
THAT'S PERFECT.

447
00:18:46,296 --> 00:18:48,297
NO NO NO, LOOK IN
YOUR PANTS POCKET.

448
00:18:48,298 --> 00:18:51,009
YOU HAVE TWO TICKETS TO JUSTIN
TIMBERLAKE AT THE TOLEDO HOLLYWOOD BOWL.

449
00:18:51,010 --> 00:18:52,842
WHAT?

450
00:18:53,923 --> 00:18:56,925
NOW I HAVE IT ALL.

451
00:18:56,926 --> 00:18:59,057
AND NOW, MEL, YOU
MAY TAKE YOUR PLACE

452
00:18:59,058 --> 00:19:00,929
AS A LEADER IN THE
REALM OF WITCHES.

453
00:19:00,930 --> 00:19:04,683
OH, JOE! WE'RE GOING TO
BE, LIKE, WITCH ROYALTY.

454
00:19:04,684 --> 00:19:07,356
OOH, MAYBE WE CAN PARTY WITH
HARRY POTTER AND HERMIONE.

455
00:19:07,357 --> 00:19:12,030
I'M SORRY. THE OTHER REALM HAS A
STRICT ANTI-IMMIGRATION POLICY

456
00:19:12,031 --> 00:19:15,864
WHEN IT COMES TO... MORTALS.

457
00:19:15,865 --> 00:19:17,826
I DON'T LIKE THE WAY
SHE JUST SAID THAT.

458
00:19:17,827 --> 00:19:20,078
IT'S YOUR CHOICE, MEL.

459
00:19:20,079 --> 00:19:22,911
IF YOU STAY HERE, YOU
WILL LOSE YOUR POWERS

460
00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:25,334
AND REMAIN A MORTAL FOREVER.

461
00:19:25,335 --> 00:19:27,836
SO NO MORE WITCHY-WITCHY STUFF?

462
00:19:27,837 --> 00:19:30,879
YOU KNOW, LIKE...

463
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:34,253
NO, THAT ALL GOES AWAY.

464
00:19:34,254 --> 00:19:36,595
( record screeches )

465
00:19:36,596 --> 00:19:38,297
SO WHAT DO YOU CHOOSE?

466
00:19:38,298 --> 00:19:41,009
WELL, I MEAN, ARE YOU KIDDING?

467
00:19:41,010 --> 00:19:44,434
THIS IS A NO-BRAINER.

468
00:19:46,766 --> 00:19:50,068
YOU'RE WILLING TO GIVE UP
ALL YOUR WITCH POWERS?

469
00:19:50,069 --> 00:19:51,610
YES.

470
00:19:51,611 --> 00:19:53,612
- ARE YOU SURE?
- YEAH.

471
00:19:53,613 --> 00:19:55,404
WHAT'S THE USE OF ALL
THOSE OTHER POWERS

472
00:19:55,405 --> 00:19:57,407
IF I DON'T HAVE THE
POWER OF LOVE?

473
00:19:59,409 --> 00:20:01,029
WELL, ALL RIGHT, YOU MAY STAY.

474
00:20:01,030 --> 00:20:03,031
BUT YOUR MAGIC WILL BE GONE

475
00:20:03,032 --> 00:20:05,994
AND ALL MEMORY OF THESE EVENTS
WILL BE ERASED FROM YOU BOTH.

476
00:20:05,995 --> 00:20:07,457
I'LL MISS YOU.

477
00:20:10,540 --> 00:20:12,000
SHAZAM!

478
00:20:12,001 --> 00:20:13,252
WHOA.

479
00:20:13,253 --> 00:20:14,713
- HO!
- WHAT?

480
00:20:14,714 --> 00:20:15,754
I FEEL WEIRD.

481
00:20:15,755 --> 00:20:17,796
OOH, I FEEL WEIRD TOO.
WHAT TIME IS IT?

482
00:20:17,797 --> 00:20:20,138
IT'S 8:30. IT'S...
IT'S ALREADY 8:30.

483
00:20:20,139 --> 00:20:21,800
- WHAT HAPPENED TO THE NIGHT?
- ( girl screaming )

484
00:20:21,801 --> 00:20:23,512
( gasps ) OH, TRICK-OR-TREATERS.

485
00:20:23,513 --> 00:20:25,764
GOOD, BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,
TONIGHT'S BEEN SO BORING.

486
00:20:25,765 --> 00:20:27,606
- YEAH.
- HEY, YOU KNOW,

487
00:20:27,607 --> 00:20:29,978
I REALLY LOVE WHAT YOU'VE DONE
WITH THE DECORATIONS IN HERE.

488
00:20:29,979 --> 00:20:31,400
I MEAN, I LOVE
THIS FAKE CLEAVER.

489
00:20:31,401 --> 00:20:34,353
I DIDN'T DO THAT. I THOUGHT
THAT YOU DID THAT.

490
00:20:34,354 --> 00:20:35,944
I DIDN'T DO THAT.

491
00:20:35,945 --> 00:20:40,068
( creepy music playing )

492
00:20:40,069 --> 00:20:41,741
WHOA!

493
00:20:44,364 --> 00:20:45,574
AUNT MEL?

494
00:20:45,575 --> 00:20:47,786
I NEED YOU TO CHANGE
ME BACK RIGHT NOW!

495
00:20:47,787 --> 00:20:51,169
SECOND PLACE MY FURRY ASS!

496
00:20:51,170 --> 00:20:52,832
AUNT MEL?

497
00:20:57,086 --> 00:21:00,799
"WENT TO LOOK AT NEIGHBORHOOD
HALLOWEEN DECORATIONS."

498
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,141
OKAY, FINE.

499
00:21:03,142 --> 00:21:05,555
I'LL WAIT.

500
00:21:19,238 --> 00:21:22,901
FIRST PLACE... IN
YOUR FURRY FACE!

501
00:21:22,902 --> 00:21:24,903
SHUT UP, RYDER!

502
00:21:24,904 --> 00:21:27,166
OOH!